When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
