So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
