i already hear my dad disowning me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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