bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
