Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
