how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
