What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
