booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
