Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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