Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize