I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
