Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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