I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
