And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
