i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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