You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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