He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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