I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
