yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
