I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
