Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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