"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
