I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
my poor anus
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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