so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
