I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
