Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
