OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
3pm strippers are depressing
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
