i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Can I color on your dick again?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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