The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize