OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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