I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
