Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
