Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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