AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
