dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
oh god the rape fog is back!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Let's get the cat blown out
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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