shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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