well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
