I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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