I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You can't just leave with hair like that
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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