dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
