you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
