There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
