I just saw a hot homeless man
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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