So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
