Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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