All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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