barbara walters just said penis...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
