So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
