Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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