alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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