she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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