So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
