I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
