Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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