Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
