like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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