Kiss
Puke
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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