We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
