I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
